You're So Vain

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?" he asked.

She responded, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."




CONFUSING ENGLISH
1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people fromHolland called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean toMake terrible?
8. Why is it called building when it is already built?
9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why doBars have parking lots?
11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him aroundtimes, does he become disoriented
12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians
13.If this moment are meant for studying, then why are you reading this???

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